Try the Critter Cleaver!

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Try the Critter Cleaver! [FS]
Pet smasher invite icon.png
Equipment slot
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Copper pands (cp)0
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Try the Critter Cleaver! is a document in The Forgotten Sanctum.

Description[edit | edit source]

Items in italics are quoted directly from the game.

To [Player Name], captain of [Player Ship].

I know what you're thinking: I have too many lovable cats, dogs, pigs, birds, and pigs.

Like you, I once thought I could take in stray pets, care for their needs, and shower each with equal affection. But we limited beings have only so much love to spread around! Unpleasant, unfair, unfortunate.

That's why I took it upon myself to optimize affection and curtail my creature care. I bring you the Critter Cleaver!

The Cleaver is a handy, ethics-free apparatus yanked from a genuine Engwithan dig site and restored to glorious functionality. Simply slide your favorite feline down one end and let the Cleaver do its charm.

The best is yet to come! See, the Cleaver remembers. Stick a white bird in there? It remembers. Purple pig? It remembers. It even remembers your pet's strengths, weaknesses, and favorite places to poop.

Now, your furry friend isn't just going to slide out of the Cleaver's business-end same as it went inside. No, they come out different. Better! Sometimes. That's where it gets fun. Combinations! Want a bird to think like a pig? Want a cat to think like a different, better cat? The Cleaver provides!

You'd be doing me a favor of epic proportions if you gave the Critter Cleaver a whirl. Once folks see you using it, everyone will want a turn! I've moved it to the far wall of the Dark Cupboard, which is at Periki's Overlook in Neketaka. You can find the Cleaver just due west of the wooden fella.

~A friend and fellow animal-lover.

PS. I fixed the insert receptacle so that it no longer accepts orlans and gave it a good scrubbing. You are welcome!

Acquisition[edit | edit source]

  • Given to you while sailing around after installing The Forgotten Sanctum. "A lethargic, misshapen bird drops a damp missive onto the deck."